With a Little Help From My Friends…
Jenera wrote something last week on her blog that I felt the need to write about. She said:
“In my couple years of blogging I have managed to meet some great people. I have made friends and though I have not met any of them in person, I feel close enough to them to call them friends.
…
Some make fun of those of us who have online friends. I think they are jealous. One friend is states away and one is countries away. Yet I know that if I ever had the opportunity to meet up with them in real life, it’d be like we were friends forever.”
People who haven’t made friends online just plain don’t understand the depth of connection you can have with someone who isn’t right there next to you. But, as I mention to Jenera, as someone who has social anxiety, online connections have been wonderful to me.
Many people argue that we’re only becoming friends with words on a screen, but just like we are more than our bodies, the words are more than words. The words convey meanings. Put together in certain ways, words mean certain things. But beyond that, the words also carry feelings.
That’s called empathy.
Have you ever read an email and thought, “I wonder what’s wrong with him/her? S/he sounds sad.” If words were just words, you wouldn’t possibly be able to derive that sort of conclusion unless the person had written “I am sad” or something similar.
I would be lost without my online friends, and I wouldn’t be here today if not for my husband (who I instantly connected to ‘just’ through words online). In fact, the people I know online have supported me ten times more than the friends I had growing up.
So if anyone ever tries to tell you that you can’t have that kind of connection online? You can tell them that you know at least one very happily married couple who met online.
April 15th, 2009 at 7:45 am
I agree! All of my closest friends are people I’ve met online, mostly through my writing forums. I’ve been fortunate to meet all of them (in fact, we’re now making up reasons to meet *g*), and it’s great. One friend and I even set up scheduled “shopping trips” where we shop online together.
Silly? Perhaps, but we have loads of fun.
April 15th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
First I must thank-you for all the messages you left even when I was not posting. It was nice to know someone cared about me.
It’s silly to say you cannot know someone through words, - what they write. Eventually the heart shines through …. even those who only supp;y statistics and exercise diaries. It’s impossible to write regularly and not reveal a little of self. Internet friendships are often more real than face to face ones where we often wear a mask to hide the pain or our the self we don’t like from those we meet. In our face to face encounters we are usually more concerned with looking good. On the internet I think we can be more honest. I hope to meet some of my internet friends one day but if not I look forward to relationships growing and maturing.
Blessings
April 16th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Cammy - That sounds like a lot of fun to me.
Margie - You’re most welcome.
April 29th, 2009 at 10:41 am
I couldn’t agree more! This is why my enforced absence from the internet was so painful to me - these people (including you) are my lifeline and I just don’t function as well without them.
Ps. I also met my husband online!
April 30th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
I didn’t know you met your husband online Hanlie! Another thing we have in common.