TOM Frustrations
Yeah, I thought I’d put it right there in the title so you can skip over this. I don’t get graphic or anything, but it’s a whiny post to put it in the best light, so…
Anywho, I’m grumpy and I want cake. Or rather, I want TimTams. (Getting fit or not, I think everyone in the world should try TimTams at least once. Especially the double-coated ones. Yum.)
It’s at times like these that how much of an emotional eater I am really comes into light. Things have been a bit tense around the JM household lately, partially due to the fun emotional rollercoaster I have been riding in the past couple of days. (Don’t you, those of you who are, love being a woman?) I don’t mean to do many of the things I do, but I’m very, very sensitive right now.
You (the female readers, anyway) know the drill. And you know that it sucks big, hairy donkey balls.
But increased sensitivity means increased tension, which just makes me upset all over again and… Well, I want some TimTams. Despite all the good I’ve done this month, despite being on a specialized diet with only two weeks to go, despite everything.
The fact that a part of me would happily through all that away for a piece of cheesecake scares me and makes me a bit sad.
It also makes me wonder what I’m scared off. The thing is, this TOM also happens to be coinciding with my ‘self-sabotage stage’. What’s my self-sabotage stage? The point at which I weigh anywhere between 244 and 246. That’s when my mind seems to click over into “oh my, I’m losing weight, panic [for some reason I have yet to figure out]”.
But don’t worry; I’m not going to throw it all away. I have a secret weapon.
Curiosity.
I’ve been on this diet, I know it’s working, and I know it can continue working. And I have always been defined, at least in part, by my curiosity. And I’m curious about what it’s like to be at a healthy weight. I’ve never been there so it’s natural to wonder…
So while I want something sinful, I’ll just bake my heart out, stick to my diet and focus on my curiosity.
May the will power gods be with me.
August 30th, 2008 at 4:00 am
Fortunately, TOM is only around 1 week out of 4! Thinking about you!
August 30th, 2008 at 4:07 am
Thank goodness for that!
Thank you.
August 31st, 2008 at 11:27 pm
I’ve been in contact with Will Power and he says he’s coming your way soon…
Hang in there.
August 31st, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Hehehehe. I knew I married a man with connections.
September 1st, 2008 at 12:10 am
::hugs:: I would bet your body is just letting you know what you’ve been missing out on all this time, lol. It sucks though, I really feel ya. I get terrible evil. After being preggo with Aidan, that first month was killer after not experiencing the extreme rollercoaster for the last 9 months.
But if you stick to it and stay away from sweets, you will be so proud of yourself when it’s all said and done. You can do it!!!!
September 1st, 2008 at 12:14 am
*hugs* Thank you.
It’s nice to be able to talk about these things and have so many people who understand!