The Mind of the Matter (Part One)
Tonight my husband asked me – and I can’t remember the segue into it – how I was going with all the ‘weight loss stuff’ and when I was planning to ‘get back into it’. We talked a bit about how I had stuck hardcore to the South Beach diet earlier this year but that had tapered off into not so hardcore but still sticking to most of the basic principles.
While I am more than happy to admit that the lack of progress (losing pounds) doesn’t take long to get to me, I told my husband that I was trying to ‘be good’ until I got to the naturopath appointment (which was scheduled for Monday but got rescheduled to August 1st (grr)) and they could tell me how to fix things.
However, (I went on) if I had to be really honest with myself, I think a lot of my problems come from the psychological side of things. I get daily emails from very weight loss/fitness support groups, and most of the time they ask questions. “What are you getting from being fat?” “What foods are you addicted to? Why?” “What are you giving yourself when you binge and how you can replace that behavior?”
They might not have all been those questions verbatim, but that does pretty much cover it. And the frustrating thing, to me, is that I don’t know. I don’t know what being fat is giving me that causes me to self-sabotage. I don’t know why I still can’t trust myself with chocolate in the house.
Yes, folks, that’s the sad reality. I received a bunch of chocolate from a friend who lives overseas and I just plain don’t trust myself to have it in the house with me when I’m alone during the day…
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