Sometimes…
When it comes to the struggle of trying to lose weight and keep off what I’ve lost, sometimes I just want to quit. It’s too hard. I’m too tired. I have factors that make it even harder for me to lose weight than other people. So why even try? Why not just try to eat decently and give in to the bag of M&Ms when I feel like it?
Then I remember.
I started seriously trying to get fit after my wedding in May of 2007. It took many months and a lot of struggle, but I started getting myself down in weight. Clothes were a bit looser, I was feeling better, I was eating better…
And I fell off the bandwagon.
It didn’t happen fast, but it happened. I gained back all the weight I had lost and was exactly (to the pound) back to where I started after my wedding. As you can imagine, that depressed me to no end.
I don’t usually do New Year’s resolutions, but this year I decided I was going to lose the weight. No matter what, no matter how long, I was going to try my best and hardest. For my husband. For my future children. For myself.
This run hasn’t been easy either. With my weight bouncing around and often going to plateau status, it’s been hard to keep going. Many times I have wanted to just give up and have those M&Ms. Or TimTams. Or chicken satay noodle box.
The difference this time is that I made a promise to myself. I worked so hard and gained it all back. Now I have to lose it again. I won’t do that anymore. I will never quit because once I’ve lost the pounds, I sure as heck don’t want to have to lose them again when it’s so much work. If I had just stuck it through last time, maybe I would be down in the 230s already.
I’ve learned my lesson. I’m not going to quit.
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