Rock Bottom Part Two
Speaking of hitting rock bottom, I was reminded of something Richelo Killian said on my old blog that I think needs to be noted here.
“You don’t have to reach rock bottom to get the kick up the backside to reach your goals. You just have to get in the mindset of someone that has hit rock bottom.”
Very, very true.
Long before I decided to do all this, I wondered what my rock bottom would be. What it would be and when I would get there. I was worried that it would come when I was 300 pounds or more and then I’d have that much more weight to lose.
The thing is, Richelo is right - you don’t have to hit your actual rock bottom. You need to decide you’ve hit rock bottom and go from there.
One day when my husband and I were walking home from the mall, I noticed I began feeling uncomfortable when I was walking. Then I realized I had back fat, which I had never had before. I stopped, turned to my husband, and told him, “I think I’m reaching rock bottom. I have back fat. I can’t believe I have back fat.”
I was a bit upset at noticing it, but I wasn’t upset enough to really get into that rock bottom mindset. But then…
My husband and I were walking off and met up with our neighbors. We had some food for them (my husband and I try to not eat anything with a lot of numbers listed in the ingredients, which presents a problem when we win things), and they were eager to chat. The wife, who was eight months pregnant at the time, turned to me and asked if I had a lot of problems with vomiting (morning sickness).
I looked at her, confused, and said, “No.”
Awkward silence.
She hastily said something like she thought I was someone else, and my husband and I left soon after. Needless to say, I was a bit upset about it.
Now, I could have drowned my sorrows in the box of chocolates the neighbors left outside our door as a thank-you for the food, but as my husband and I were walking, I decided that was my rock bottom. I decided I wouldn’t take it anymore. I could take it longer, certainly, but I wouldn’t.
I was going to lose weight.
I want to make it known that I could have just as easily ate my sorrows away or ignored the comment, but I chose the other way instead.
I decided on my rock bottom. I didn’t let it decide on me.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:48 am
When I hit 283, that was my rock bottom. Mostly because the thought of being so close to 300 made me want to vomit, literally. Also, having sex was becoming a little more difficult with such a huge body and that was even worse. I didn’t want to get to a point where I couldn’t enjoy it.
I also saw a picture right about Christmas time of me and I wanted to vomit again. In my head, I didn’t look that bad. I decided then, I wanted to look like what I look like in my head, know what I mean?
I could have just kept on going and getting fatter-especially after my failed attempts to lose weight last year. But I decided to get my booty in gear. Told my hubby, this is it, no more playing around. I am terribly lucky to have such a wonderful hubby that jumped right in with me.
Of course health reasons are a big reason, but for me it was feeling good and looking better. It also didn’t help that though the doctor didn’t say it, my miscarriage might have been attributed to my weight. What a horrible feeling to know I could have prevented it.
I think that even though rock bottom is harsh sounding phrase, it also means that we have reached that point where we are not going to let certain things happen again. Even if I had never had any negativity in regards to my weight, seeing that number was enough to scare me straight.
March 5th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
I know exactly what you mean on so many points. Sometimes it takes a picture to realize that what’s in your head might not be right. And as for sex, I have been heavy since I’ve been with my husband, so I would love to know what it’s like at a lower weight.
We have a lot in common. I’m sorry you had a miscarriage. That’s one thing I am very afraid of because I want so much to have children.