Finally Getting Fit

As you have probably noticed, we’re having a few technical difficulties around the network right now. Very few of us (only me and one other person that I know of) are able to log into our blogs right now. So if you’re wondering why things are quiet right now, that’s why.

This is the only one of my blogs I can get into (thanks to my husband), so I figured I would jump on and let you know that whenever something happens, you can always find me at The New Australian.

On to the check in!

It’s ticker time…

If you had told me at the beginning of this year that this was going to be the year I would see the weight loss I’d always been dreaming of, I would not have believed you. Lo and behold, here I am.

I haven’t been anywhere near perfect over this past week and things are bound to get interesting as my birthday gets closer, but I’m not thinking about that. I’m thinking about forty pounds. Forty pounds gone.

It sounds so incredibly lovely. Gone, gone, gone.

I’m excited about my doctor’s appointment late next week. I’m wondering what their reactions are going to be when I step on the scale. I wonder if I’m going to look that much different to them.

I’ve been thinking about getting a new pretty top just so I can make a bit of a grander entrance, but I might hold off, seeing as I bought a new top not too long ago.

Lovely, lovely times. Now if we could just figure out what’s going on with the blogs…

I hope you all are doing well!

I hardly know where to start this check in…

For the first time in at least five years – probably more like six or seven – I am in the 220s. I’m only just stepping in, but I am there.

I’m a bit gobsmacked about the whole thing, to be honest, but I am so glad that my ‘rededication’ to the plan has paid off this week. My paranoid side was trying to convince me that since I had indulged and gained a couple pounds, suddenly the whole thing wasn’t going to work anymore.

Yeah, not very sane, but you know how it goes…

My husband ‘snuck’ into my blog and posted about our walk this past weekend. I feel so awesome about the walk. I think the husband is starting to get nervous because I’m just a few kilos away from equaling him in weight… Of course, he’s a good five inches taller than me so he will still look fitter than me. But hey, maybe it’ll be a motivator for his fitness. Hehe.

I’m not sure I’m going to make my goal, but I am going to give it all I have. I know that even if I walk in at my current weight, it will still qualify as a fantastic loss.

Who would have thought I would ever look forward to a doctor’s appointment? Truth be told, I’m looking forward to impressing my dietician more. Haha. She’s an awesome lady.

I do plan on getting a lot of questions answered at the doctor, but more of that in the future.

How are you going?

SW: 264
LW: 236
CW: 234

What a week! And now I have left this off for so long that it’s almost time for the next weigh-in.

Okay, so I haven’t left it that late, but I have a bit of catching up to do.

This past Saturday I had a feast day to celebrate my being granted permanent residency in Australia. I drank alcohol, ate way too much Thai and had a great time overall. I can’t imagine a better way to celebrate.

The feast resulted in an expected gain, but I made sure I didn’t eat until I was actually hungry (as opposed to the usual scheduled eating) and drank heaps of water. All that really took care with moving things along. Plus, Thai food is generally very light and healthy, so it wasn’t as damaging as other meals could have been.

The best part? It was totally worth it. I don’t regret it in the least and I am happy to be back on plan.

I am so enthusiastic about my weight, to be honest. Why? Because I haven’t gained any pre-TOM weight! That is so amazing for me. The only thing I could count on my body for growing up was the fact that when TOM actually happened, I would gain five pounds. And now? No weight gain!

After the early TOM last month, I didn’t go back on the pill. I’m not actually in TOM territory yet, but I am crossing my fingers that I can function without that damned pill. I hate being on them. I know, it’s probably unhealthy to just switch off like that, but I actually listen to my body, thanks.

I’ve decided that the triple-threat challenge needs to be put on hold. I have a wonky hip that has been playing up since I started doing squats, and I decided to include more walking in my routine to hopefully ‘work it out’. I’d like to go to a chiropractor (I’ve had a hip problem since I was a toddler, but it went untreated) but I don’t know when that will happen.

I lost my ‘groove’ earlier this week, but I got it back before I typed this up, so it’s all good!

As I mentioned before, I’m combining the triple-threat challenge (hehe, I kind of like that) along with the Tibetan Rites (which I will post about soon, Foodie!). Along with getting out when the sunshine was available, this combination was exactly what I needed (and I knew it would be).

Take a look…

Ah, look at that beauty. And, for my friends who interpret things in pounds…

I am just one pound away from my next reward – new pajama pants! – but I’m not thinking about that very much at the moment. I’m thinking more about how I’m at my lowest weight in years, I feel great and exercise is more than proving itself to be a useful thing!

(Of course, exercise is always useful, but now it’s actually helping the scale to move.)

Things have been a bit weird for me, to be honest, and I’ve been spending a lot of time examining how I feel about things like the weight loss, my life, my work, etc. I’ve been quite stuck in my own head for a while now, but I think that’s okay for the moment. I’m figuring a lot of self-stuff out.

I sincerely hope everyone is doing well.

I decided to be brave today and post my weight statistics.

Starting Weight: 264
Current Weight: 254

Ten pounds gone! I should be happy, shouldn’t I…

Maybe because I’m doing work on some diet guru’s blog or maybe I’m still extra vulnerable right now, but I’m really not feeling the joy over my loss right now.

My weight keeps bouncing around in increments of two pounds, which is completely fine when you’re still in the beginning of a diet and your body is trying to figure out what the heck is going on.

I just feel like a failure for some reason. Don’t ask me why. My logical mind says I should be thrilled – I’m well on my way! My emotional mind is still a scared little girl afraid of disappointing anyone for any sort of perceived slight. I don’t feel like ten pounds is good enough.

I’m in such an emotionally sensitive place right now, and I’m not sure why. I’m just going to deal with things as they come and take care of myself as best I can.

There is a shining light in all this, though.

When Mr. JM came home, he immediately noticed I was in a down mood. We talked a bit and he asked me if I had done anything to compromise my diet. I was almost confused for a moment.

The old me would have used this as a perfect excuse to go off the diet. The new me? Well, I didn’t even think of going off the diet. Truly. It didn’t even occur to me.

So progress is happening – even on the psychological front.

Today is weigh-in day. Have I weighed in? Yep. Am I going to post the numbers here? Nope.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about everything that is going on in my life that has to do with food and weight loss. I have a binge eating past (recent past). I have childhood abuses that are linked to the way I look at food now. I have something going on in my system that is making weight loss some weird game with no regular rules. (I think I need to ‘wake up’ my digestive system. We’ll see what the doc says on Thursday.)

Anyway, with all this stuff going on and with the five pounds I gain before a TOM, I have decided to stop posting weigh-ins for right now. Until I get my body on the correct track (which is what I have been trying to do, I promise) of being able to lose weight, all that these weigh-ins do is depress me.

I will be keeping track of my weight in the notebook where I keep track of what I eat, how much I drink, exercise, etc. I’m not quitting weight tracking altogether.

The problem arises when I weigh in with no change or some gain I can’t explain and I feel like I have disappointed all of you. I know, I know – you’ll all tell me that’s a heap of rubbish. But only my logical mind can accept that. My emotional mind is still, most of the time, a scared little girl who just wants people to be happy with her.

Call it a screwed up after-affect of my upbringing or just me being weird. Either way, the more I read and learn lately, the more I realize that I need to do what I know in my gut to be right for me.

And right now, not displaying my weight stats to the world is what is right for me.

I completely missed weighing in because the husband and I stole off to enjoy our anniversary…

SW: 262
LW: 260
CW: 260

I have officially been exercising and all that good stuff for one week! Woohoo!

This week I am focused less on weight and a lot more on everything I have accomplished. As I said to Mr. JM this weekend, “I feel like I am in such a good place right now.”

And that pretty much sums it up. I’m working, exercising, cooking, cleaning… Things aren’t really balanced at the moment, but I feel like I’m walking with the flow of life instead of fighting upstream like usual.

The lack of a change from last week to this week is disappointing on one level, but I’m not concerned about it. First, I’m still on TOM technically so I’m probably still retaining water. Second, my body is probably still getting used to this level of exercise and is probably retaining water for that reason as well.

So it’s all good!

There is another issue happening that could be keeping me from losing weight, but I’m still debating whether or not that subject is just way too much information to be talking about on this blog.

I really feel like I have finally found the exercise routine that works for me. I’m someone who gets bored pretty easily, so spending half and hour on a treadmill doesn’t quite work for me. With the routine I’ve put together, I’m moving around, incorporating different types of exercise and I’m not doing anything long enough to become bored.

Woohoo!

I’d love to be to 256 by my wedding anniversary (May 5th) but we’ll see if that actually happens.

I hope everyone out there is feeling great and accomplishing wonderful things.

SW: 262
LW: -
CW: 260

Hello everyone!

Yeah, I know; I’m sounding a bit perky for someone who is only two pounds away from highest weight, but there is so much going on right now…

First, I had a great time on holiday. Talk about relaxing. Mmm. I could definitely use some more of that. I’m also fairly certain that a pound or so of the gain I’ve had came from the holiday (as it does). I mean, I did have pancakes for the first time in four (probably more) years.

Also, there is the TOM weight gain that it took me two months of birth control to figure out lands right on Monday, which is weigh in day. Smart move, that… *grumblegrumble*

I am still feeling pretty fantastic, though. Through bad times good things can come.

We arrived home to a pretty nasty rent rise – that we’re going to appeal – that lit a fire under our bottoms about moving. I’m hoping we get to move to New South Wales (gorgeous place with a lot more job opportunities for Mr. JM) so keep your fingers crossed for us.

I’m getting into a new exercise and eating routine that I’m quite proud of. You may think I’m kind of crazy for starting a new routine during TOM week, but when I think about it, I don’t want to wait any longer. I’m sick of being fat. I want to be the skinny me in my picture.

I’m cutting out alcohol (with the exception of the once every few weeks glass of red wine) completely. I’m also cutting out things that I let myself indulge in because they weren’t candy bars – muffins, banana bread, chai latte. I’m also cutting down on my breads/grains in a more gradual manner. Saying a flat no to all of that is just going to make me binge.

I’m brave enough to move from the individual serves of yogurt to the bulk (cheaper) container, so that will be the first test of whether or not I’m getting past my binging. Wish me will power.

The exercise is going great (after one day…) I’m combining bits of everything (stretching, yoga, cardio, weights) and breaking it up to two times a day so I am active more often and I don’t get bored.

See? I told you: huge amount of things going on right now, but I’m feeling great about everything. Even despite the gain.

You can be assured I’ll be checking in often with this stuff, though, because I want to succeed all the way! I won’t screw things up this time.

HW: 262
LW: 254
CW: 258

As they say in Australia, “Not happy, Jan.” Then again, not a mystery either.

My husband and I were in the car the other day and I was squirming around a bit because I was having some gnarly not-time-of-the-month cramps. After a few moments of sensing he was down, I finally asked him what was wrong.

He sighed. “I’m worried about you. It seems like you’re going from illness to illness.”

Without hesitation or pause, I said, “It’s because I’m not exercising.”

Don’t you just love it when your subconscious has figured something out and waits until an odd moment to let your conscious mind know?

After February and March’s glandular fever recurrence to deal with, some cramps – albeit bad ones – aren’t really moving from illness to illness. I knew what he meant though – I was just back to normal and something else went wrong. The funny thing is, though, that somewhere in my mind I realized the missing piece to my jigsaw currently is that I’m not exercising.

There are other things going on as well, of course, like working on the portion sizes for eating every two to three hours. I was doing well on remembering to eat, but as is made obvious with the weight gain, I was just eating too much.

I’m not too upset about the gain because I know why it happened and how to fix it. I do worry that people who read here will get sick of me yoyo-ing around the 250s, but it’s all trial and error anyway. I’m blogging because I need the support now, not when I figure out the method that works for me for losing weight.

I won’t be able to weigh in next week because Mr. JM and I are going on a road trip starting early next Monday morning, but come the Monday after that, you can bet your last dollar…

SW: 262
LW: 252
CW: 254

TOM weight gain. That’s something I definitely didn’t miss when I wasn’t having proper cycles. Mind you, two pounds is a lot better than the five pounds I used to gain like clockwork when I was a teenager.

This week things are a bit interesting in the flat. A few things are changing and will hopefully prove to be just what we need.

For the first time, I have planned out a menu for the whole week – every single meal (and I’ve scheduled in exercise, too) – and we’re going to try to follow. So far today, things have been good. Some experimental meals have turned out to be great and very satisfying.

Of course, with food comes water. I slacked on a lot of things while I was sick and now I’m getting back into them gently.

I keep reminding myself that, while the menu is all written up, I can change things if I feel I have to. That may seem, to some, like it defeats the purpose of having the menu, but it’s what I have to do. I tend to get really obsessive about food and such, so reminding myself that things are flexible is helping ease the obsessive tide that I already feel rising a smidge.

Like I mentioned, I scheduled in exercise as well. I have an hour of exercise every day with a DVD. It’s a workout that combines yoga and pilates. And for anyone who thinks that’s not a tough workout, well buy the DVD and try it yourself. Even the instructor gets sweaty, so there.

On the mental health side of things, I’ve decided to hold off on food/body image counseling until at least my next appointment at the women’s clinic (early May). That will give me time to journal as well as see if I can stamp out/get past the issues and obsessions I get. (I’ll explain more about that stuff later.)

It feels kind of overwhelming to address so much at once, but it also feels good to be working on it.

How is everyone else going?

Hi everyone!

I hope you enjoyed Mr. JM’s time here last week. He’s really good to me when I’m ill and he wanted to help me get as much rest as possible by taking over some of my blogs.

He’s a peach like that.

Time to weigh in…

SW: 262
LW: 252
CW: 252

No change, and I am totally okay with that. Haha!

Mystery Virus 2009 continues to suck all my energy, so I have zero exercise since I last weighed in. Just walking to the shops (which I did all of once) was a major trip for me that left me exhausted. So going twenty minutes on the elliptical? Out of the question.

I’m calling it Mystery Virus because no one has been able to tell me (with absolute certainty) what’s happening or even when I can expect to get better. Right now I just plan on finishing the meds I’m currently on and then I’m going to let my body do as it wishes. I have a bit more energy than I have, so I’m going to start doing some gentle exercises to get things going.

It’s been so weird to experience this. My brain is in working order and all that, so it’s like a brief taste of what it feels like to have your body betray you. There was a point when I switched my office chair for a comfy chair because I was dozing off at the computer pretty regularly.

Thankfully I am past that stage. So, two more days of meds and then lots of positive thinking. I’ve done everything doctors have told me to do and nothing has worked, so I’m going to start doing what I feel is right. And that’s just plain ignoring that I’m sick. Hehe!

I hope you all are doing well!

SW: 262
LW: 254
CW: 252

Woohoo! Look at that. Ten pounds from my highest weight. Definitely a good thing.

To be honest, I’m a bit surprised (surprised enough to step on the scale a couple times) to see a loss. Given I’m on the tail end of TOM plus not moving as much as I should because of cold/cough 2009 (I’m finally going to a doc tonight), I’m just really surprised.

Despite, well, everything, I feel like I’m in a pretty good place right now. I’ve finally figured out that yes, I know what I have to do. Now I just need to address the psychological component for weight loss.

It may sound silly or strange, but I think – on the subconscious level, at least – I am willing myself to stay at my current weight. I definitely don’t want to gain any weight, but there are a lot more strings attached to losing weight than I previously realized.

How do I know? Well, I have been successful with losing weight and getting fit since I started this journey. I want to be healthy and be able to have kids. But I hiccup. I almost religiously fail at a certain point (240 pounds) every single time I get close.

I also know because some of my earliest memories – we’re talking five and six years old – are of me sitting alone at the dinner table after everyone else had finished and stuffing myself until it literally hurt. It’s hard to admit to, even now, but it just goes to show that I need to address those issues – the ones that caused a little girl to think the only solution was to eat as much as possible as often as possible.

There is a long road ahead, but I have a good feeling about it. With ‘all the ducks in a row’ so to say, I can lose, continue to lose, and keep it all off.

So how are you doing?

SW: 262
LW: 254
CW: 254

To be completely honest with you, I really don’t have the energy to care about what I weigh this week.

The Headcold From Hell (though it’s more than that – I just like the alliteration) just plain refuses to let go completely. I’m doing better, overall, than I was at this time last week, but I’m still sapped of energy most of the time. I easily run out of breath, I get tired easily, little things are more of an effort… Lots of fun in my body at the moment. Unfortunately, my snot (yep, I said it) is showing that I’m still battling hard with whatever is going on.

I’ve tried pushing myself (fresh air makes everything better thing), I’ve tried resting (I’m blogging from bed at the moment), eucalyptus bath (which left me smelling quite nice)… Nothing has been kicking this thing out of me for good.

And please don’t suggest pills. The all natural stuff that has always worked in the past isn’t working and I’m not interested in synthetic crap.

As you may have guessed by the tone of this post, I’m a bit crabby too. I’m really trying hard not to be, but my poor husband can tell you my efforts haven’t always been successful lately.

Also, the progesterone prescribed to me didn’t cause a bleed and now I’m waiting for a call back from my doctor. Bloody freaking fun, I tell you.

Anyone have any suggestions on the best way to relax?

Anyone feel like guest posting here or on Long Relationships?

SW: 262
LW: 256
CW: 254

I’ve decided that, even though I didn’t start at 262, I would put it as my starting weight because it’s the highest weight I have ever (to my knowledge) been at. I can think of reasons why not to switch it like that, but honestly, my focus right now is to ‘come off’ that weight. So why not have it at the starting weight?

I’m happy to have another loss this week, but I think it all has to do with water. Honestly, I’ll probably see a bit of a gain next week because I’ve been put on medication to kick start my TOM and then I’ll be back on the pill. Fun, fun, but we do what we must.

Last week I went to see an endocrinologist and a dietician (which I’ll write more about later) and, from what they have said, I’m not actually doing too badly with food. There are things I need to change around like eating more fruit and making my evening meal smaller, but I’m definitely on the right track.

So this week I am focusing on portion control and sticking to eating on schedule. I have started a new food diary to bring in to the dietician the next time I see her and I have also bought some things that will help me with portion control. (Like individual serves of things instead of bulk containers.) It costs a little more, admittedly, but I’m willing to pay the price until I’m better with things.

Things have calmed down here, thankfully, but in calming down, a bug that has been trying to drag me down for a week has finally caught hold. I wanted to start exercising an increased amount as soon as I started with everything else, but the energy is definitely lacking. I’m trying to move around a lot, but going for a jog isn’t on the agenda until at least tomorrow morning.

But once I’m started… Rain or shine.

How is everyone else doing?