Finally Getting Fit

Jenera recently asked if you are the kind of person to make NY resolutions or not. She mentions that she doesn’t think she has ever made an official resolution and that she has the general goal of being ‘fit and fabulous’ come (northern hemisphere) summer.

I got to thinking about my life and resolutions. Yes, it’s true I’ve made some more-or-less ‘official’ resolutions, but not anything all that spectacular. Not anything I can really remember, either.

I don’t like making ultra-specific resolutions because I feel that’s setting myself up for failure. My life doesn’t run just according to me and outside influences happen.

Like, I’d love to say, “I want to lose fifty pounds in 2009”. Sounds good, but it might not happen because I have other hormonal/body factors that keep me from losing weight like I should. (That’s the general consensus at the moment.)

But who knows? Maybe I’ll win the lottery and get some liposuction to get me started. Or maybe they’ll figure out what part of me is being so stubborn and fix/help it and the pounds will come off like they should. Those sort of things are a bit out of my control so I don’t want to set the specific goal.

My goals are general ones, and thus I call them goals instead of resolutions. I’d like to lose as much weight as I healthily can. I want to lower my cholesterol. I want exercise to become an even more regular part of my life. I want to ovulate on my own.

So, in the end, I’m more of a ‘leave them’ person when it comes to resolutions. They usually just end up making people feel guilty.

How about you?

In trying to live a healthier lifestyle, having control of my body with my mind is something I have often struggled with.

Often people think of their mind and their body as one, which isn’t true. Even modern science shows us that we – spirit/soul/consciousness – are not our bodies. Our bodies just happen to be our physical cars, so to say. We go above and beyond, thus, we can greatly benefit from learning to associate the body with being a tool instead of our ‘self’.

This probably doesn’t make a lot of sense at this point…

I am slowly becoming more in tune with my body as a way to determine the difference between the times I want to eat and the times I need to eat. My body lets me know in very specific ways that my blood sugar is low, but I used to not pay attention and lumped all the need/want times together. All that resulted in is me eating too much too often.

When I began to teach myself to control my body as a tool, I began to learn to distinguish between the needs and the wants. Now, when I have a want time, I just remind myself, “I am in control of this body and I will determine when I eat.”

Another example is my time on the elliptical. Learning to treat my body as a tool rather than my ‘self’ has helped me to be a lot more productive in terms of my exercise.

There are plenty of times when I don’t feel like doing my exercise for the day. Or there are times when I’m on the elliptical and I feel like getting off early. Those are the times when I remind myself that I am not my body and it is only my body – not my ‘self – that doesn’t want to go on the elliptical.

All I do then is remind myself who is in control.

Of course, it’s not always easy. Sometimes with the exercise, I have given in. But more and more, with practice, I am finding I have an increasing amount of control and will power over what I physically do.

A great way to start training yourself in this way is sitting meditation or just pushing yourself that extra minute when you’re exercising. YOU can do it because YOU are in control.

SW: 256
LW: 250
CW: 252

So I’ve somehow managed to gain two pounds. I’m pretty certain it has something to do with retaining water as well as my body just adjusting to all the changes I’ve made since last Wednesday.

To be honest, since I got the bad news, my caring about the number of pounds I have on me has just gone out the window. I still want to lose weight, of course, but I’m not focused on the numbers at all. Well, maybe 1% of the time.

Right now all my healthy energy is going towards focusing on keeping a food diary and making healthy choices with my food. Maybe that was my problem all along – my focus has been in the wrong place. I wouldn’t be surprised.

I feel like I’m on the right track right now. That hasn’t reflected in poundage, but I’ve only really changed my life since last Wednesday. And I don’t say ‘changed my life’ flippantly. It’s like… I received the news from the doctor and suddenly everything has changed. I’ve immediately dropped things that were occasional indulgences.

My husband actually put a small chocolate bar in my hand (it was time to eat and the only other thing on hand was a muesli bar I don’t care for) and wouldn’t have held it against me if I ate it, and I gave it back to him. I thought about it, but the urge to eat it just wasn’t there.

I guess there is nothing like getting the news, “This could kill you” to make you clean up your act, huh?

Well, after the good news from last week’s ultrasound, I was prepared for good results from my blood tests as well. I wasn’t expecting miracles – I’m still experiencing the physical effects of hormonal oddities – but I was thinking that things would be a lot better than they were in the States.

And they are. In part.

My thyroid is fine, which is awesome, glucose was fine, and other things she tested me for are fine as well. I still have some of the funnybuggers running around that I did in the States, but it’s great that so many things are working just fine.

The bad news is my cholesterol. It’s at a horrible level and I need to do something about it now. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the particular LDL/HDL breakdown, but it doesn’t matter at the moment – I need to get my cholesterol down.

The good part is that I’m young, so I can get it down now without a heap of horrible things happening in the mean time. Most people getting concerned about their cholesterol are in their 50s or 60s, so I’m considering myself fortunate that I can take care of this now.

Still, it’s quite a sobering thought to think I need to be concerned about heart disease at my age. Like I said to my husband on the phone when I told him, “I’m too young for this. The only thing I should be ‘at risk’ for is hangovers.”

I’ve had a really crappy diet for a long time, though, so now I have to ‘pay the piper’ or whatever the saying is.

On February 12, I’ll be heading to the Royal Melbourne Women’s clinic to talk to an endocrinologist (I’m not sure if having this high of cholesterol makes The Pill a risk or not or what), a dietitian, and maybe even an appointment for a support group.

But that’s all in February. Right now I’m just cutting out as many baddies as I can (which now includes dairy *pout*) and keeping a food diary.

When I first proposed the leftover project last week, I knew it would be difficult. Even so, I didn’t think it would be this hard! Hehe.

TLP has gotten off to a little bit of a shaky start because my memory isn’t that great. I’ve already adjusted meals a couple times, though, to have smaller servings. The way I figure it, I either have a meal at regular size and leave some leftovers or I make the conscious decision to have a smaller meal.

I have had stare downs with my meals a few times, the ‘need’ to ‘clean my plate’ being that strong. It’s a bit weird, to say the least, but it’s a deeply ingrained belief I know I have to be if I am going to have a healthier life overall.

Even though it’s just a small thing in the grand scheme of things, it feels good to be taking some sort of action in getting myself healthy. Especially during the times it feels like I keep bashing against a brick wall.

Because laughter is the best medicine, I’m also going to make a point to put more funny videos, comics and whatever else that’s funny I find here on site. I figure that will be a good start in making this place a good place to be. And if it helps motivate, then that’s even better!

As for today, well, the husband is off on a work trip for the rest of the week, so I’m going to crash on the couch with a few good movies and some strawberries. Yummy.

What an eventful few days. Where to start…

Well, I’ll start with the fact it’s actually a holiday weekend here. On Tuesday we have ‘the race that stops the nation’ which is a horse race like no other. People across Australia party, bet on horses and otherwise have a lot of fun. Most of the people in Victoria get Tuesday off.

My husband surprised me by taking Monday off, so we whisked away to western Australia for a mini-vacation of sorts. It was one of those trips where you don’t have a timeline and just go wherever you feel like. We ended up in a nice small town and met some interesting people.

The weekend was a bit emotional, however, because I haven’t been feeling my best. About two weeks ago I started on with a headache. Later on came a bit of tiredness, nausea, soreness and other sorts of fun things. We can to wonder – despite the near impossibility of it – if perhaps I was pregnant.

Maybe it’s silly or stupid for me to think that I could possibly get pregnant with all of the health issues I have going on right now, but I did believe in that chance and took a test. It was negative, as I knew it had to be, but I was still upset. Naturally.

However, if I think about it rationally – though being rational isn’t my strong suit today – I remind myself that my body is certainly not as healthy as it should be for a normal pregnancy. I am reminded that there are still issues I need to deal with because I wanted to turn to food for comfort. I didn’t, but the want was still there.

And so, this week I take off from weighing in and Monday Mailbag. I need the break. I need to get back to the stricter diet my naturopath worked out, need to make an appointment with a gynecologist and I need to get started on my new elliptical…

Today on her blog, Jenera talked about the times when she feels sexiest. Thinking about when I feel sexiest, I figured I could split things into two categories. Here I’ll be talking about the physical side of feeling sexy and on my site Long Relationships, I’ll be talking more about the mental/emotional side.

When it comes to getting fit and healthy, I think it’s important to find the ways and times you feel sexy. Don’t wait until you’re ‘there’ at your goal; if you don’t care about and appreciate your body as it is, you’re going to have difficulty caring about yourself enough to get fit.

I’m a big girl with big curves. I have big hips (a moderate bum, thankfully) and big boobs. I also have an outfit that makes me feel so sexy when I wear it because it highlights my curves in a good way while minimizing the spots I don’t like so much (*cough*tummy*cough*).

I have a ‘baby doll’ tank top, a lacy bra for underneath, a small, fitted jacket to go over it and a pair of hip-hugging jeans to go with it. However, it’s not just that I like the outfit – it’s the fact that I had to work to get into the jeans and the jacket. Plus, the tank top was a reward to myself for how far I’ve come.

I don’t think you have to be at goal weight before you feel sexy; feeling sexy along the way can help inspire you to keep going to even better, sexier things.

When do you feel sexy?

Hi all. Is it the weekend yet? Hehe.

For this week’s Monday Mailbag, I asked…

“It’s not surprising that we sometimes get down or disheartened on our journey to get fit. What counts is how you deal with the times you’re feeling down or have fallen off the bandwagon. It’s about getting back up and back to it, but that’s a bit easier said than done. So it’s good to have ‘methods of defense’ prepared for when those times do come around.

What do you do to break bad moods?”

This is actually one I didn’t know if I would be able to answer very well because one of the reasons I asked is I’m going through one of those bad mood times. Perhaps answering this will help me with it…

1. Exercise. This might be a strange one, but I have found getting out and about walking has helped a lot when I feel myself on that downhill mood swing.
2. Shopping. How stereotypically womanly of me, but even just going out and buying groceries has been helpful as a bad mood buster.
3. Cuddling with my husband. Sometimes there’s nothing like being held by someone you love and letting yourself accept that you’re not feeling your best at the moment.
4. Watching movies. Or television shows. Either way, the brain drain can be nice once in a while.
5. Reading ‘fluff’. I love a good, fluffy romance or women’s fiction novel – especially in those times I don’t have a lot of female friends to talk to.

Well, there is my list. I hope you find it helpful. If you have any bad mood buster tips, be sure to leave them in the comments!

I was talking with Jenera via email the other day, and I mentioned how I had bought a couple new tops and how that was helping me change my attitude about things. I’ve also had a hair cut and whatnot, but the nicer, fitting clothes helped heaps.

She mentioned that she didn’t like buying new things while she was still losing weight because she didn’t want to keep on having to buy new things. She always promises herself that she’ll buy new things when all the weight comes off, but that hasn’t happened yet.

In talking to her, I realized that I am – or rather, was – the same way when buying new clothes. Who wants to buy a bunch of brand new things when it’s possible they’ll be too big in a matter of months?

But then I thought about how good it felt to have some new tops that truly fit. I didn’t buy heaps of new clothes, but I did buy a couple things I fell in love with at the store. I feel great and, believe it or not, it’s a motivation for me to keep on losing weight because I want to be able to fit into other nice things.

I guess what I’m trying to say is you should give yourself a break. If you can, go out and buy a new top. Try to buy something that ties or is only tight around your boobs so it can change with you.

You might just be amazed what it can do for your mood and confidence.

For this week’s Monday Mailbag, I asked:

What do you do to motivate yourself?

I’ve already answered that in my Thursday Thirteen from last week, so in case you missed it…

Thirteen Ways I Motivate Myself

1. Think about summer! This doesn’t quite work right now for those of you in the northern hemisphere (or maybe it does? ‘work it off winter’?) but I know the hot weather is coming soon and I would love to fit in to a cute sundress… Not to mention swimsuits…

2. Think about activities. I’d love to go hiking, rollerblading, ice skating…and they’ll be a lot more enjoyable as the weight comes off.

3. Lose weight. Yes, that’s kind of putting the cart before the horse, but when the first couple of pounds come off, I am so motivated to keep going!

4. Reward myself. I’ve been doing well so far and I’ve rewarded myself with a nice tank top that I absolutely love and a couple new bras. Whatever works for you.

5. I think about baby J. Yes, my husband and I have already named our first child and I’m not even pregnant. But, it does make my future child more real to me and is a great source of motivation.

6. Listen to music. Music with a great beat motivates me to move like nothing else.

7. Get fun exercise videos. I just picked up beginner’s belly dancing and I’m excited to start it!

8. Make things easy. I love nothing better than something quick and easy that I can incorporate into my life to help me on my way.

9. Blogging. By having this blog and putting my feelings here, it’s a place that’s not only a sanctuary but a place that keeps me accountable and motivated

10. Look in the mirror. Get to know yourself.

11. Short term goals. Taking things one step at a time will helps a lot with not getting discouraged.

12. Celebrate the little things. You’re not just getting fit, you’re changing your life. Celebrate all the accomplishments.

13. I keep in mind that every morning is a new morning. What I did yesterday does not have to influence what I do today.

It’s been a while since I’ve put up a Thursday Thirteen, hasn’t it? I get so forgetful sometimes…

I’ve been making a lot of changes lately, not the least being a few additions to my wardrobe and a new, shorter summer haircut. This has helped me feel a lot better about losing weight, my sabotage point and my mood in general. So I figured a list of motivators would be great.

1. Think about summer! This doesn’t quite work right now for those of you in the northern hemisphere (or maybe it does? ‘work it off winter’?) but I know the hot weather is coming soon and I would love to fit in to a cute sundress… Not to mention swimsuits…

2. Think about activities. I’d love to go hiking, rollerblading, ice skating…and they’ll be a lot more enjoyable as the weight comes off.

3. Lose weight. Yes, that’s kind of putting the cart before the horse, but when the first couple of pounds come off, I am so motivated to keep going!

4. Reward myself. I’ve been doing well so far and I’ve rewarded myself with a nice tank top that I absolutely love and a couple new bras. Whatever works for you.

5. I think about baby J. Yes, my husband and I have already named our first child and I’m not even pregnant. But, it does make my future child more real to me and is a great source of motivation.

6. Listen to music. Music with a great beat motivates me to move like nothing else.

7. Get fun exercise videos. I just picked up beginner’s belly dancing and I’m excited to start it!

8. Make things easy. I love nothing better than something quick and easy that I can incorporate into my life to help me on my way.

9. Blogging. By having this blog and putting my feelings here, it’s a place that’s not only a sanctuary but a place that keeps me accountable and motivated.

10. Look in the mirror. Get to know yourself.

11. Short term goals. Taking things one step at a time will helps a lot with not getting discouraged.

12. Celebrate the little things. You’re not just getting fit, you’re changing your life. Celebrate all the accomplishments.

13. I keep in mind that every morning is a new morning. What I did yesterday does not have to influence what I do today.

Check out my other Thursday Thirteens at Fiction Scribe, Write Anyway, and The Book Stacks

Like I mentioned yesterday, ‘just because you can doesn’t mean you should’. After going to the naturopath on the 12th, I decided to let up on myself and have an easy weekend. I had a couple chocolates from my birthday (over a month ago), I had a glass of white wine, and I basically just eased up on myself.

Well, as it turns out, that was probably the exact wrong thing to do.

It wasn’t wrong because I didn’t deserve a reward – I did – but the timing was all wrong and I should have realized that.

I have what I like to call a ‘self-sabotage point’. Between 242 and 244, I’m not sure what happens, but I tend to sabotage myself. Eating things I shouldn’t, not sticking to whatever regulations I have at the time… I have reached this mark a few times before. The last time I did, I totally bombed out and… well… That’s why I started this round of dieting back at my highest weight.

I’m not sure if it’s because that was the point I fell off the wagon the first time I started getting fit or if it’s that I haven’t been in the 230s since I was still in my teenage years. All I know is that I hit this point and then go straight back up.

I am so, so scared of that happening this time.

People who don’t understand would probably just say, “Well, don’t let it happen. Just stick to your diet.” But there is so much more to it than that. It’s psychological.

I’ve already been battling with the sweets urges for days now. Unlike the past times, though, I don’t beat myself up for little slip ups. I’m sticking to my eating schedule and drinking heaps of water. I’ll admit that I’m sorely lacking in the exercise department, so I’m going to dig out my ‘no equipment needed’ workout and will start doing that until we get the machine.

I do the bullets list on a couple of my other sites as well every once in a while. It helps me out when I have a bunch of little things to say that don’t make full posts on their own. So…

*I found a site that has free fitness logs that you can print off (via links to other sites). Kind of a link hub of sorts.

*I’ve realized that just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Pout.

*It’s not always easy to spot, so just in case you missed it, I do have a links list on the right. Just scroll down a little bit past the site description. (I don’t get to pick where the list goes…)

*Do any of you have recommendations for ‘busy women’ or ‘at home’ workouts? I really need to work more non-machine exercising while we’re still saving for a machine.

*Speaking of, I could use some new tunes to help get me moving as well. If you have any recommendations of your favourite workout music, let me know. I’d love to check some new songs out.

*Do you think rewards are necessary to keeping on track? I realized a couple days ago that I don’t have a rewards system set up for when I meet my goals. I’d like to have special things planned, but I’m not sure if it’s actually going to help me all that much in the end. Something to ponder, if you’re in the mood for pondering.

I hope everyone is having a great week so far. I’m wishing you a lot of motivation, energy, and support on your getting fit journey.

Well, six weeks and five days after I started my restricted diet, I went back to the naturopath for a bit of a check-in and progress report. The appointment went great and I’m scheduled to go back in another six weeks.

Never in my life would I ever have though I would have someone tell me that I should probably slow down the weight loss.

How funny!

Anyway, just had to get that out of my system. I’ve been chuckling about it for days.

I got retested and things were fantastic. Instead of all my systems – yes, all – being completely out of whack, this time my systems were calm and quiet. The weight and PCOS issues are still of concern, of course, but no longer is my body going a bit crazy.

I’m quite proud of myself. Six weeks without so many of the things I have come to love? That’s hard. But, unlike things I have tried in the past, I am actually seeing results and feeling good about myself. No longer is it a waiting game of ‘maybe the weight will come off soon’ in trying to find the right diet for me.

Basically, I’m still on the restricted diet. However, things have loosened up a little bit. ‘Forbidden’ things have now become ‘try to avoid’ and instead of alternating between having one grain meal a day and two, I can now have two grain meals every day. (Woohoo!)

I’m feeling very good about this. I know I can achieve my goals.

I hope you are all doing well!

(For those of you who don’t know who the man on the right is, check out Watching Doctor Who.)

This week is already whizzing by and we’re not even to Thursday yet (the day I usually make a comment or nine about how the week is going by so fast). But, it’s the right time and the right day for answering… the Monday Mailbag question.

Was that dramatic? Maybe? A little bit? Okay, I’ll just get to the question.

For this week’s Monday Mailbag, I asked:

One piece of dieting advice is: “Don’t go on a diet; change your diet.” It’s well known that making little, maintainable changes is better than to try completely changing your life all at once. What little changes have you made and stuck with since starting your weight loss journey?

I suppose the big change came when I moved to Australia. After that, there were no more frozen dinners, soda, ‘instant’ stuff, microwave stuff, and the list goes on. I had a really crappy diet when I was in the States.

But we’re talking about little changes.

I suppose the biggest little change (hello, oxymoronic phrase) I have made is making the commitment to lose weight. Before, I knew I was overweight, but I didn’t do anything about it. I didn’t care, and I continued to eat whatever I wanted because I didn’t have a lot of self-confidence or feeling of self-worth.

I’ve had my ups and downs just like anyone, but I have stuck to the commitment and have kept on trying. I’m more aware of my activity levels, how much I’m drinking and the effects of being overweight.

How about you?