Finally Getting Fit

I’m posting this a bit late, but I reckon you all will forgive me.

This week turned out to be a lot of crazy in a basket as the anniversary weekend ended and road trips and volunteering began. I feel like I haven’t really had the chance to sit and relax since last week. Even now I’m not really relaxing because I am working on getting all my blogs up to date. (I’ll be doing some back posting, so don’t be surprised to see posts from earlier this week that weren’t actually up earlier this week.)

The good news is that I had a lot of fun last weekend. You can read about how the anniversary went here.

The not so great news is that I’m not looking forward to stepping on the scale this Monday. I felt okay at the end of the weekend because I enjoyed myself but didn’t go overboard, but since then I have really been feeling the stress. Stress is definitely not good for weight loss.

I have been feeling stressed because I work at home and love what I do, but it’s frustrating because I wish I could pay the bills off faster. There is a job I can apply for, but it could mean that I don’t get to post as much and might even have to give up one or two of my blogs.

Not good.

I have been having such a hard time staying away from my comfort foods, but the good news is that I have succeeded in still staying away from bread and pasta.

So, slowly but surely, I am getting back to the nitty gritty of work. How are you doing?

Over this past month I have been a part of the weight loss challenge on the Yanks Down Under site. Basically, with a few rules like no fasting, we weigh in once a week and talk about what we’re doing to lose the weight.

I’ve found that having this kind of ‘loose’ (‘loose’ meaning lots of discussion, not a lot of competitive spirit between people which makes things more relaxed, and weigh ins only once a week) competition is a nice little Plan B motivational tool.

I didn’t realize it before, but at the last weigh in for the challenge, my total loss was ten pounds. Ten pounds! I had no idea. I mean, I knew I had lost twelve pounds total, but I didn’t realize I’d lost ten pounds this month for this challenge.

Talk about your motivation. I have less than a pound to lose to have lost five percent of my top body weight.

When you are trying to lose weight, I think it’s definitely a good thing to get involved in these types of challenges, no matter what the outcome. If you gain or maintain, you have that reminder that something needs to change. If you lose weight, you are reminded of how much you have accomplished in a new light.

Like I said, I knew I had lost weight, but looking at it in terms of the challenge made me feel great about it all over again.

Are you involved in any challenges? Do you like it/them? Do you find it/them motivational?

I was going to write this yesterday, but I was so tired…

I went into the doctor and:

1. Found out I’m not pregnant
2. Was told I needed to go to a specialist because I might need hormone therapy
3. Got something to control my nausea and it’s working so far. I even have a little bit of an appetite today.

He told me that since I have been on the South Beach Diet (no breads, pasta, rice, potatoes, etc) for this long, I should start experimenting with foods to see what really makes me tired and what doesn’t. I know rice does full force, some noodles a bit less so. I’m probably going to experiment with pumpkin first. I love pumpkin and, yes, it has a high GI, but I’ve never noticed problems with it in the past.

Also, on another note, I’m probably one of the many lactose intolerant. I’m not completely sure (and a bit sure because unless it’s in a chai, I think soy milk is nasty), but it’s pretty safe to assume.

He said that I should probably start seeing a specialist given that I have PCOS complications going on with things and, as a general practitioner, he didn’t want to make guesses outside his field. That was nice, but all it did was remind me of all the things impeding my weight loss.

So that’s what’s going on with me at the moment…

I’m quite tired and just want to relax for a while… Not that it will happen, but I can wish, right?

Well, there it is. I’m going to the doctor. I have to call and make an appointment today. Hopefully I can get in on Thursday, but it might be next week instead.

I have a lot (and by ‘a lot’ I mean deep-rooted, serious, and by the dozens) issues with going to doctors. From the going to the doctor to the doctors, I’m just a big ball o’ issues.

But I have to. I can’t do this anymore. I know in the past I have said I should go to the doc and probably would…eventually, but this is a whole new ballpark. (And I swear I’m going to scream if I start crying before I finish typing this.)

I mean, I enjoy losing four pounds in a week any time, but when it’s because I feel gross most of the time (I have a late afternoon window when I feel food in my stomach is not an evil thing) I think something just might be wrong. Plus, I would just really like to get through a day without crying, as I seem to have an inability to do so lately. (Today is out. I cried this morning.)

So cross your fingers for me that I get Thursday. Or tomorrow. Hubby has a trip, but I could go along and we could go to the doc straight after.

But anyway, cross your fingers it’s soon. (No crossing for Friday, non-Australians. It’s a holiday here.) I can’t take much more of this without some relief. Or at the least, some answers.

EDIT: It turns out my doctor is working the holiday and I go in on Friday. Phew!

Found on Jenera’s blog.

Have You Ever….

Taken a picture naked? Yep.

Made money illegally? And how exactly would I go about doing that?

Had a one night stand? Nope.

Been in a fist fight? Nope.

Slept with your best friend? Haha. Nope.

Had sex in a public place? Not sex, but I’ve been naughty in a public place.

Ditched work to have sex? Well, I work from home, so…

Slept with a member of the same sex? Not sexually.

Seen someone die? Nope.

Ran from the police? Nah.

Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? Nope.

Worn your partners unmentionables? Sorry, but jocks aren’t for me.

Fallen asleep at work? Well, I work from home…

Used toys in the bedroom? Yeup.

Ran a red light? On accident.

Been fired? Nope.

Been in a car accident? Not that I can remember.

Pole danced or done a striptease? Kind of.

Loved someone you shouldn’t? Way too many times.

Sang karaoke? Once.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Haha. Hasn’t everyone?

Laughed so hard you peed your pants? Nope.

Caught someone having sex? Nope.

Kissed a perfect stranger? Nope.

Shaved your partner? Nope.

Given your private parts a nickname? That is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. No, I haven’t.

Ever gone in public without underwear? Yes, but with pants on.

Had sex on a roof top? Nope.

Played chicken? Nope.

Mooned/flashed someone? Nope.

Do you sleep naked? Yes

Blacked out from drinking? Heck no.

Felt like killing someone? Literally killing someone? Once.

Had sex more than 5 times in one day? Nope, but sounds like a nice goal…

Been with someone because they were in a band? Nope.

Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? Nope.

Shot a gun? Yep, a few.

Gone outside naked? Yep.

Answer on your blog and leave a link so I can check out your answers!

When it comes to the struggle of trying to lose weight and keep off what I’ve lost, sometimes I just want to quit. It’s too hard. I’m too tired. I have factors that make it even harder for me to lose weight than other people. So why even try? Why not just try to eat decently and give in to the bag of M&Ms when I feel like it?

Then I remember.

I started seriously trying to get fit after my wedding in May of 2007. It took many months and a lot of struggle, but I started getting myself down in weight. Clothes were a bit looser, I was feeling better, I was eating better…

And I fell off the bandwagon.

It didn’t happen fast, but it happened. I gained back all the weight I had lost and was exactly (to the pound) back to where I started after my wedding. As you can imagine, that depressed me to no end.

I don’t usually do New Year’s resolutions, but this year I decided I was going to lose the weight. No matter what, no matter how long, I was going to try my best and hardest. For my husband. For my future children. For myself.

This run hasn’t been easy either. With my weight bouncing around and often going to plateau status, it’s been hard to keep going. Many times I have wanted to just give up and have those M&Ms. Or TimTams. Or chicken satay noodle box.

The difference this time is that I made a promise to myself. I worked so hard and gained it all back. Now I have to lose it again. I won’t do that anymore. I will never quit because once I’ve lost the pounds, I sure as heck don’t want to have to lose them again when it’s so much work. If I had just stuck it through last time, maybe I would be down in the 230s already.

I’ve learned my lesson. I’m not going to quit.

My dear friend Jenera has awarded me with the Great Blog Friend award. While I know a lot of people get annoyed with memes, tags, and awards, I like them a lot and am happy to have Jenera award me with one.

At this point I get to name people I would like to pass the award on to. I love giving awards out to people and would like to give them to everyone I know, but I have narrowed the list down to five lovely ladies who have been good friends and have the wonderful ability to make me smile.

Randi of If You Can’t Say Something Nice
Elisa of Watching Dr. Who
Jummy of Getting Crafty
Emma of Treehouse Jukebox
Lyndsey of Lez Keep It Real

These five ladies have been great friends to me with help in abundance whenever I needed it and a lot of great conversations.

Randi and I bond a lot over our shared condition PCOS and our having divorced certain family members.

Elisa has trusted me with the care of The Book Stacks after writing for it for a long time. She also sent me my first care package after I arrived in Australia.

Jummy is a craft goddess in my eyes and I love getting ideas from her site. She’s always cheerful and enthusiastic.

Emma has been a good friend for a long time and never fails to have strangely awesome timing at saying or doing something that makes me smile.

Lyndsey is a lovely lady who has been a great friend to me from the start. We have a lot of fun when we talk.

And there you have it! Feel free to take this award and pass it out on your blog.

Let me know if you do in the comments section. I always like to cruise around new blogs.

With that, I hope all of you have a lovely weekend filled with laughter, bonding, and good food. I’ll see you back here on Monday with the next weigh in. (Fun, fun. )

I can’t help it… I like tags and memes. I know many of you find them annoying, but if you’re like me and actually like them, consider yourself tagged.

Have a great weekend!

A is for age: Younger than I feel, older than I think, and evening out as time passes.

B is for booze of choice: Gin and tonic on hot days, vodka and lemonade on cold days, and a chocolate monk (my creation) when I have a sweet tooth.

C is for career: I’m a freelancer. Freelance writer, freelance editor, professional blogger, and tour coordinator for Pump Up virtual author tours.

D is for your dog’s name: We don’t have one yet, but we’ve talked about it and I think we’ll name our future german shepherd Odin.
E is for essential items you use/love everyday: Dove deodorant

F is for favorite song(s) at the moment: Won’t go home without you by Maroon 5.

G is for favorite games: I am so utterly addicted to Desktop Tower Defense

H is for hometown: Menomonie

I is for instruments you play: I don’t play much now, but I used to play: piano, drums (anything percussion), saxophone, keyboard bass.

J is for jam or jelly you like: On rare occasions, I’ll eat strawberry or rasberry

K is for kids: None yet

L is for last kiss: Kisses from my man this morning

M is for most admired trait: Erm. Love? I’m very loving. Giving? Maybe?

N is for name of your crush: Mark (husband)

O is for overnight hospital stays: Once because the doctors where I used to live are idiots

P is for phobias: Water/drowning

Q is for quotes you like: Looking at something and seeing it are two completely different things.

R is for biggest regret: Hurting my hubby.

S is for sweets of your choice: Tiramisu

T is for time you wake up: The first time, about quarter to six when hubby gets out of bed. The next time is quarter after seven when I get up for the gym. When I get to sleep in, between nine and nine thirty.
U is for underwear: What about my knickers?

V is for vegetables you love: Mushrooms. Broccoli. Potatoes. Carrots. Pumpkin. Mmmm.

W is for worst habit: Probably my eating habits, but I’m working on those.

X is for x-rays you’ve had:

Y is for yummy food you make:

Z is for zodiac sign: I’m a Leo who was born in the year of the Tiger. Meow.

ANYONE ELSE CAN DO IT

No, I’m not talking about weight loss success stories, unfortunately. However, I have found a video you might have a good chuckle at because it sounds oh so familiar even for how it’s taken to extreme levels.

Okay, so maybe I’m a bit of a hypocrite for posting this given I am taking weight loss supplements, but I figured that if I can get a laugh out of this video, other people can as well.

Haven’t we all heard it thousands of times? Try this! You’ll lose weight instantly. The pounds will melt off. It’s the latest and greatest diet out there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Something I read today really resounded to me because it makes so much sense. As we all know, 99 percent of these things plain don’t work. Or they don’t work in the long term if you are one of the lucky few to see some kind of result.

Why? To keep us spending money!

Just like any other companies, they’re all out to make a dollar. So why give people something that works when you can make a lot more money by keeping people coming back?

This is more of a ramble than a rant, but I am a bit peeved at all this. These companies know exactly what they are doing because it has worked for so many companies before. People are so addicted to the quick fix that the psychology of obesity simply doesn’t come into play.

Now that’s a thought – if a company started a psychological program, maybe more of us would get real help.

What do you think? Are you sick of all the ads or don’t you mind them? Do you wish there was more focus on the psychology of obesity?

Well, it’s Friday. I wish I had some awesomely interesting news to report, but I don’t. The only thing remotely interesting is that I bought a pack of cigarettes last night.

I quit smoking at the end of August. It was hard. I used that new drug on the market, Chantix, and that helped tremendously. I’m positive that taking Chantix is the only reason those around me are alive and intact. My husband quit, too. We’ve been doing fantastic, with the exception of a few cigs snuck on weekends when multiple beers were consumed, and we’ve been saving a ton of cash. All in all, it’s been such a good thing.

And then last night, I just went and bought a pack. I was feeling kind of down. So I just bought a pack. And I got carded. What’s with that?

Anyway. That moment of weakness is a perfect description of the entirety of me. Things get icky, I cave. I fold like an oragami crane. I crumble like a dried-up leaf. I stuff my face. I take a nap instead of exercising. I go shopping and blow my budget. I get loaded with my friends when I’m feeling stressed or upset. And I buy a pack of cigs.

So maybe it isn’t just that I like food. Or that I have a slow metabolism. I think all of this destructive behavior stems from one simple fact: I’m a pussy. I take the easy road. The road most traveled, so to speak. Anything to not exert any kind of real emotional response.

And what problems do I really even have? Good lord. I have a hubby who loves me, a home, great friends, the best parents, loads of expensive purposeless education, a decend job… I’m a lucky chick. There are frigging people out there who are homeless. Who are fighting in Iraq. Who are struggling with terminal disease. Who the hell am I, anyway?

I don’t have any answers. But I do think it’s time that I quit being such a pussy. I am taking my life for granted. It’s my obligation to make the most of what I’ve been given.

Seriously. What was I thinking?

I love cookies. I love cookies more than ice cream. More than cake. More than pie. More than– dare I say?– any other dessert out there. So why would I torture myself and participate in my office cookie exchange?

For those of you who may not know, a cookie exchange is where there is a group of people and each person makes X number of cookies (the same kind). Then, you bring in your cookies all separated and exchange. For example, I made five dozen cookies, or 10 bags of six, and I recieved, in turn, 10 types of cookies, 60 all together.

60 cookies.

Now, I mostly did it because I’m a joiner and I like to participate in office fun. But, my dark side knew how many cookies I would receive and she was maniacally twisting her fat fingers together with an evil grin on her face as she imagined the plethora of cookie deliciousness spread out before her. “Texan cookies” with fruit and nuts, date balls, spritz with sprinkles, fudge squares, ginger snaps, special K, Mexican lemon cookies… I’m one of those pink, plastic Hungy, Hungy Hippos that has an endless stream of marbles entering it’s face. Not flattering.

So, temperance is the pre-holiday goal.

So yesterday I didn’t work out. I was too lazy to get up before work to do it. Then I worked all day, made cookies for my office cookie exchange (oh, more about that tomorrow…), and went to a bowling league Christmas party.

Before you scoff, I’m just a sub on my ma and sister’s bowling team. It’s not like I’m actually on a bowling league, so don’t get all judgey on me. Anyway, it was pretty fun. We bowled three games (and I got a 127 on my second game– woo hoo!) and had some snacks afterwards. Horrifyingly tempting snacks, but I didn’t go hog wild, so to speak. Good for me!

Then I got home and resumed baking 6 dozen cookies and doing a load of laundry, finishing around 11:00 pm. And then of course I was all wired up from being stressed all day, so I didn’t get to bed until after midnight. Yuck.

So, does bowling count as exercise? I’m assuming since there is beer involved, that’s a no.

Today my challenges are:

1. DON’T eat a million flippin’ cookies. Really. Don’t.
2. Find time to work out, even though there’s choir practice tonight.
3. Drink water!

I worked out again last night on the stationary bike for 20 minutes. This time no TV, but my MP3 player (check out this blog for info on different kinds of MP3 players, if you don’t already have one. www.mp3gaze.com. Do it now– thank me later!) with some energetic new (newly downloaded, not new as in a new release) workout songs:

Don’t you just know it? (Huey “Piano” Smith)
The Government Totally Sucks (Tenacious D)
Runaway (Me First and the Gimme Gimmes)
My Neck, My Back (The Vandals)
F*ck and Run (Liz Phair)
More Than a Feeling (Boston)

(I added the names of the songs because I used to see people inquiring about others’ workout songs on the Weight Watchers forums.)

My small victory there was that my hubby was home. It’s much easier for me to exercise when I don’t have the option to hang out with him. He works a lot of evening shifts and every other weekend, so we tend to get a little excited when we have a whole evening just the two of us.

So, what’s 20 minutes? Exactly. But my hubby being home was just the excuse I would have snatched up last week.

Anyway, today I’m doing fairly well on food, but this evening another challenge will present itself: happy hour. I will stick to light beer– only one (one big one, anyway)– and absolutely no greasy bar food. No spinach artichoke dip and chips. No mozzerela sticks. No nachos. No broccoli cheese bites.

Okay… now I’m getting hungry. I think I’ll stick to thinking about new workout songs.

Fat pants - noun. 1. Pants slightly larger than the majority of your pants. Usually worn around one’s period or on on low-body image day. 2. Pants with an elastic waist band. Example: “Holy crap I’m bloated today. Guess I’ll wear my fat pants.”

So, I’ve been wearing my fat pants for weeks it seems. (Don’t worry, I have more than one pair and a semi-functioning washer and dryer.) This makes sense now that the batteries ressurected my bathroom scale. However, now that I’m aware of the fact that the wearing of fat pants has become a daily neccessity, rather than an occasional desire, I’m wondering if I need to invest in some clothing.

I do not want to buy new pants. Especially now that I’m committed to only going down the scale. I’m talking about under-garment articles.

I have a couple of under-garment pieces that have come in handy on more than one occassion. A Spanx biker-short sort of deal that sucks me in from just under my bra to mid-thigh, and a bra/belly-holder-inner from Lane Bryant.

My rationale for buying these articles although I’m at the forefront of a weight-loss journey is that even when I start losing weight, I’ll still need to smooth down the muffin top and other unpleasantness.

The bra/belly-thing combo is a favorite of mine and I do plan to purchase a couple more of those.

Pros:
Smoothes the roll of fat on top of the pants
Supportive bra, too
Comfortable– not too tight, not too loose

Cons:
Sometimes it rides up a bit. I try to tuck it into my uns, but that doesn’t always work
Kinda pricey

The Spanx biker-shorts thing is also pretty good, depending on the situation.

Pros:
REALLY holds in the bumps and lumps
Makes it possible to wear pants I have began to outgrow…
Perfect for dresses and dressy occasions

Cons:
It is tight– uncomfortable after an 8-hour work day
The top can start to roll down, like panty hose– this produces an excentuated roll as well as pain
This is also pricey

So, I think I’m good with one Spanx thing, but I may invest in one or two more bra/belly things. But I will keep my eyes forward to the day when I won’t have to think about fat-concealing under-garments and fat pants. Then again, maybe fat pants are like skinny jeans in that every woman has a pair? I will do some research.

PS– here’s a cool blog on style: www.stylefix.net

I am very proud of myself. This may seem completely lame to normal people. But I am. I worked out for 25 minutes when I got home from work last night on my stationary bike.

I tried to pump myself up all day. Every once in a while (in my mind; I don’t want to worry my cube neighbors) I said to myself, “I’m going to work out when I get home.” It was very simple. I didn’t embellish with thoughts of how I was going to start looking sexy or anything like that. Just very simply, “I am going to work out when I get home.”

I think this was helpful in that it made the future action not seem like it was optional. It was just something I was going to do when I got home. Like eating dinner. Like reading my book. Like watching Charlie Brown’s Christmas. (By the way, Charlie Brown’s Christmas still kicks ass.)

So I got home and immediately made myself change into workout clothes, even though I was still deciding whether to eat first or second. Then, knowing that food can have a slightly coma-inducing effect on me, I chose the bike. It also helped that my husband had called when I walked in the door. I told him my plans, which would enforce actually going through with them.

And it wasn’t hard. I mean, I did work up a slight sweat, my legs began aching a bit, and my butt felt a little numb afterwards, but I simply got on, pedaled, and watched a rerun of the Simpsons. I can do this. (PS– cool blog on the Simpsons: www.watchingsimpsons.com.)

And I will do it again tonight.